Episode 7

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Published on:

6th May 2022

Lonely TTRPG EP 7 - Closet Monsters by Nicholas Johnson

Closet Monsters is a therapeutic journaling game of trauma and its various manifestations. Engage with the prompts to give form and shape to your monster. Understand it, so that you may face it.

You can find Closet Monsters at https://draconick.itch.io/closet-monsters

BDDC logo by https://www.instagram.com/craftyteapotfox/

Music by @DungeonGlitch and can be found at https://gemmedfirefly.com/pages/dungeonglitch-music

You can find us on Twitter @bddc_pod

You can support us on Patreon here



This podcast uses the following third-party services for analysis:

Podcorn - https://podcorn.com/privacy
Chartable - https://chartable.com/privacy
Transcript
SteelStash:

Hello, and welcome to lonely TTRPG.

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The solo TTRPG, actual play and review podcast.

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I'm your host steel stash.

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Today.

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We're going to be playing closet monsters by Nicholas Johnson.

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Oh, that's adorable.

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That's some cute artwork, right?

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All right.

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So premise a monster lives in your closet, or maybe it's just in your head at night.

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It appears in terrifies.

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You try, as you might, you cannot get rid of the monster and must learn to live

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with it before it harms you further, you will be called upon to consult several

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tables and roll the appropriate dice to determine aspects of the monster

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and consider your reactions to it.

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When a role has made check the result on the table, you will find a

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corresponding writing, prompt, log, the prompt and your answer to it on paper,

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word, voice, video podcast, whatever

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taken together.

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These prompts and their responses will shape an overarching narrative.

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As you come to know your monster and how it haunts you.

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So for the monster, the following table is lists key traits of the monster.

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When responding, describe the monster in detail, keep in mind

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that these descriptions should be symbolic and personal in nature.

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So we got the harmling with one D six, so we got some claws, Fang,

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spikes, , strength, tentacles, and horns.

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we got some stuff for defenses.

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, oh, what is this special powers?

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, some various stuff like that.

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Oh, look, there's another one.

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Yeah, these are adorable.

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so now that we know what the monster is, how do you manage to live

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with it existing in your closet?

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Roll on the reaction table one D four times, or until

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satisfied with the results.

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Alright.

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So do you leave the light on blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

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All right.

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All right, cool.

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Okay, I get it.

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I get it.

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So we're gonna roll a one D four to see how many reactions we roll, and

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then we're gonna roll a one D 10 to find out what our reactions are, and

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we're going to follow the prompts.

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Yeah.

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Now, before we dive into this, I want to say thank you for listening.

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If you enjoy this, please go ahead and, , give us a, like a comment, a subscribe,

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anything to help pump those algorithms.

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And, if you really want, you could also join our Patrion and support us on there.

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, links will be in the description down below.

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So getting into this first of all, full disclosure, , Nicholas reached

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out to me on Twitter, when he found out that I review solo games

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and gave me a copy of this game.

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So a little full disclosure on that.

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This is a free review copy for me.

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All right.

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So I think first off, what we're going to do is we're going to go ahead

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and roll all of our monster traits.

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So that's one, two.

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All right.

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So we've got a three, a six and a one, a three, a six and a one.

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So let's go ahead and get this out.

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We'll do harming.

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Defense and special.

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So for harming, we rolled a three.

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So that's going to be spikes.

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You cannot confront the monster without harming yourself and may

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lurk in hiding in the corner.

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But you know that when you get close to it, you will suffer great pain.

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What are the spikes made of?

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Are they covered in the blood of your past attempts to face

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it or perhaps past victims?

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All right, so spikes.

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Um,

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so I think this thing's going to be very, uh, I think this thing is

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going to be very porcupine looking.

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All right.

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Uh, They're going to have the spikes all over their back.

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They're going to have face spikes, sticking out.

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They're going to have the line of spikes coming down, their arms, uh,

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just real, real porcupine looking.

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Um, yeah, those spikes are gonna be white.

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Those spikes are going to be ivory white.

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Um, maybe a little yellow, uh, very bone like, uh, for defense, it was six.

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So numbers, there is not one monster, but many they are similar enough that

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they sometimes seem to just be one, but there always seems to be more of them

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and you can never seem to catch them all.

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Do they differ?

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What happens when you catch one or multiple?

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How many do you think there are?

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All right, so.

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A lot of monsters that is, that is even worse.

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A lot of spike covered monsters.

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So right off the bat, I'm going to say that, uh, right off the

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bat, I'm going to say that this is a, a, this is a little thing.

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Um, This is a little monster covered in spikes.

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Uh, there are a lot of little monsters running around, but because they are

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little and there are multiples of them.

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Uh, it took me a while to figure that out because this thing would

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seem to disappear and reappear in different spots of the room.

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And for special powers, I got a one.

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So glowing eyes, always watching from the dark, with its glowing eyes.

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It looms over you and your darkest moment.

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And even in the middle of the day, you sometimes think you can see a flash.

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Uh, what color are the eyes?

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And do you, when do you feel them upon you?

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All right.

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So those eyes are, those glowing eyes are really what clued me into

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the fact that there are multiple of these monsters because I did catch it.

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I did see the pair of glowing eyes in the corner and another,

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just on the side of my vision.

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Um, that is, that is how I found out about, uh, about

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the multiple monsters and.

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That is not going to lie.

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That's got a, it's got a terrifying to think about, you know, lying in bed with

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the lights off and you hear the clink of the bones tapping against each other, the

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little of the bones, like brushing against each other and you look over and you see.

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This red glow, this pair of red, glowing eyes from the corner.

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And as you stare at it, just transfixed, just hoping to lock it in place with

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your gaze out of the corner of your eye.

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You see another such as blink and blink into existence.

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Um, Yeah, very, very, very Jurassic park.

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Very clever girl moment.

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Um, though it is though, I'm actually feeling more of the fear that, uh,

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that the hunter should have felt in that scene from this as I picture

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myself lying in bed and seeing this, um, I don't think I would have a pithy

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witty remark when that second set of eyes started blinking.

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So yeah, . We were already off to a strong start on the aesthetics of this game.

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All right.

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So reactions roll one D four.

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Uh, roll the reaction table and one d four times or until satisfied,

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you know what I think I'm just gonna, I think I'm just going to do all four.

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So I'm just going to do all four reactions.

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Um,

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Yeah, I'm going to do, I'm just going to go ahead and do all four reactions.

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So I'm going to roll my first reaction and that is a four.

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Uh, have you told anybody about the monster?

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How have they reacted or how do you think they would react?

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Um, no, no.

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I haven't told anybody about the monster because, or the monsters, uh, because.

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What would they, what would they think?

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They'd probably think that I'm crazy.

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Um, they probably start asking if everything was okay.

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Um, you know, you're always going to get, you're always going to get

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that one, that one friend who's too smart for their own good.

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He's going to try to start psychoanalyzing.

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It was like, well, uh, you know, what's going on with your life,

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where you're concerned about these monsters, just staring at.

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You know, do you think that these, uh, do you think that their spikes represent,

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you know, some type of outward defense to keep people from getting close, sort

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of like, uh, sort of like you look, bro.

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I, I know why I try to keep people away because I'm not

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good at personal relationships.

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Uh, and it is easier to keep that stuff, uh, You know, people at a

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distance, unless they really matter to you like a significant other or

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spouse open and honest communication is key for relationships, people.

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Um, but yeah, like friends, acquaintances, you know, I'm not telling I'm not,

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I'm not going to tell them about that.

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I would just be seen as crazy.

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Um,

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so for my next, uh, for my next prompt, I get a ten.

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Uh, you go to sleep one night and the monster has gone even

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for all of its abilities to hide.

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You do not sense its presence and maybe back at some point,

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but it is not there now.

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What do you do?

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Do you celebrate, how do you respond?

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Um,

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for a single night, if it's just a single.

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Uh, I'm going to be even more nervous because,

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because things don't just go like things don't just go, like, it might

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be bored for that one night, but yeah.

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Um, problems don't just go away unless you actually confront them.

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And as I have not confronted this monster yet, like it's

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not just going to up and leave.

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Uh, So, yeah.

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Um, I think, I think I'm going to be more nervous that night.

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I'm definitely not going to be celebrating.

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Uh, I'm probably going to be probably going to be clutching my, probably

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going to be clutching my blanket just a little bit tighter as honestly

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the absence of the monster is more terrifying than the Monster's presence.

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Uh, so for my next response, we got seven.

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Uh, have you tried to fight the monster?

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How did that go?

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What might you do to try and fight it in the future?

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Whether or not you've tried in the past, do you think you'll succeed?

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Um, so.

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To be honest.

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I think that, like, I think the first night I would have, uh, I think the

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first night I would have tried, uh, when I first saw the eyes, I think that I

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think that it would have tried something, um, I would have cut the lights on.

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I probably would have freaked out a little bit when I saw it.

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And, uh, you know, tried to chase it and try to get.

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Um, obviously that didn't, uh, obviously that didn't work, uh,

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because it would've come back.

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Um,

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I don't, like, I don't know if I would have continued to try to fight it though.

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Cause if the, if the monster is content to just.

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In the corner and if the monsters are just content to sit in various parts of the

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room and stare at me, um, I don't know if I would've continued to try to fight it.

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Uh, I would eventually try to find it again because, uh, I don't do

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well with stress like that at all.

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Uh, you can.

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Okay.

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You can ask my wife and kids.

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. Um, but yeah, I think the first night I would have tried to fight it.

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I don't know if I actually would have, like, I don't think

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I actually would've caught it.

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I definitely would have, would not have tried to grab it.

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Um, Being a soldier.

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We are not taught to fight fair.

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So like, I would have gone for something to help me get at this thing, uh, you

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know, a shoe, a book or something.

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And then after being unsuccessful with that, a couple of times I would

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have eventually tried to ignore it.

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And then when.

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I am unable to continue to ignore it, or when the, like, when I have a particularly

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stressful day or something, I would probably like freak out on it on them.

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And, yeah, I don't see, I don't see any of that going too well for me.

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Let's go ahead and roll my last reaction.

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One

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do you leave the light on at night?

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Would that comfort you at all?

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No, honestly leaving.

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I don't think leaving the light on would comfort me.

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Um, it would make the, it would make the monster harder to see

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the glowing eye would lose its effect, but then I would see this

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little spiky thing running around.

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And that also doesn't that also doesn't sound too pleasant.

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Um, Yeah.

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Uh, um, I'm reminded of that comic when I'm reminded of that too, or that

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like three panel comic, when that kid's lying in bed in the dark and says,

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Hey mom, can you leave the light on?

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I'm scared of the dark and mom cuts the light on and there's

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that monster face in the wall.

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And she.

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Really you want to see this all night?

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No, that's crazy.

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And she cuts the light off, uh, in the last panel and goes, yeah,

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no, that, that stuff's crazy.

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I really think I like, I really think attempting to ignore it with the light

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off would go a lot better for me.

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Like the only time I'd be turning the light on is when, like,

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when I'm freaking out on it.

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Uh, so.

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No, I am not leaving the light on, um, you know, hoping that I can hide in

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the dark, which may or may not work,

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but that.

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That is closet monsters.

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All right.

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So this is a, a, this is a little journaling game.

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And like I said Nicholas, Nicholas hit me up on Twitter and sent

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this to me to play and review.

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It is not billed as a therapy game.

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It is very easy to add pseudo therapeutic techniques to it.

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As you heard, when I was describing my monster and some of the things

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that my monster had and some of my reactions to the monster I was

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using very introspective language.

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You know, describing the spikes as a representation of, you know, my

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attempts to keep people at a distance

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talking about

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talking about how.

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Yeah, I would try to fight it, but then I would try to ignore it

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unless I had a particularly bad day and then I would freak out on it.

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So it is definitely, it is definitely a game where if you pull the right

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prompts, you can create some externalized.

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Conflict or some externalized force for internal conflicts.

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Now, all that being said, I am not a counselor.

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I am a poor jackass who has just sat through a couple of classes.

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The person who wrote this is not a counselor.

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This is not a substitute for therapy.

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But . If you're playing this game, you can use some of the things

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that you identified as a language when talking with someone for help.

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So it is very important for me to say that if you need help, get help.

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Get help from somebody who knows what they're talking about, please.

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But

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this game, this game could help provide some type of some type of

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language, some type of introspection.

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If you actually, if you actually write down your feelings while you're

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doing this, that could potentially be valuable in an actual talk therapy.

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With someone who is qualified to help interpret breakdown and navigate that

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do not to not just do this and then hop on Google and think that you're going to

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be okay the heck, because at the end of the day, you're not you're, you're not

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going to get the, you're not going to get the breakthroughs that you need, but.

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But this game does create a, this game does create a very good aesthetic.

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There's a great aesthetic that this game does manage to pull.

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If you can create the imagery in your head well enough, which, you know,

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for some people might be a problem.

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If you, if you cannot create your own internal imagery.

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Then this game is probably going to fall a little bit flat for you.

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Otherwise

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this game does a, this game does help provide some good imagery.

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It, the prompts are thought provoking.

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I do like the, I do like the reaction table.

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The reaction table had some, had some nice reactions in it.

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The guiding questions on it were nice.

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So when you sit down and you think about like, when you sit down and

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you think about this than, you do, you do end up creating a good.

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Like tale of terror.

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One thing I,

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so when you look at their itch page, there is thought IO page.

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They do describe it as a journaling game of trauma.

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So I understand why they don't have any type of like character creation, because

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again, it's supposed to be your reactions.

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I almost wish that there was some character creation options

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because this will be a very, this will be a very situational game.

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This is a game that you definitely have to be in a mood for.

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I think

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Again, just because of the introspection of the introspection

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that the questions demand of you, but,

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you know, with some character creation options, then that would, that

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would allow a degree of separation and that would allow you to really

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That would allow you to really

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like get in the Headspace of a different character and see

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how they would react to fear.

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So if you're, if you're getting ready to do some type of, if you're getting

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ready to do some type of horror campaign, like a call of Cthulu game or something

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like that, where whore is going to be an aspect of it, a roll up your

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character and run, like run this game with them that that might give you some

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that might give you some good insight into your character and allow you to.

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Kind of get into a better head space for that charactor you're playing that

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game or, you know, play it personally.

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And like I said, do that introspection and really stop and think about

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why you were reacting the way that you are to these prompts.

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I know that I did it fairly quickly.

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I.

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It is always a shock to people.

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I am surprisingly self-aware and introspective.

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I just have trouble acting on that awareness.

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I know not everybody has that.

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So this, this is definitely one of those games where your mileage will

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vary if you play it personally.

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But I do see, I do see some good value in running your, running

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your characters through this.

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So that again, you kind of get into you kind of get into that head space and

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you kind of develop that, that little profile of your character's fears.

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So if you're playing a, if you're playing a horror game that like really plays

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on the psychological elements, then this might be something fun to do up.

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Give to your GM.

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GM's, it might be something like this might be something fun to run through

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with your car, with your players, as their characters just to get these ideas

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of how the character would react in these situations and whatnot, like really

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mine some of that psychological paydirt

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again, though, if you're using it like that, use it for characters.

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All right.

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because.

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99% of us are not playing with trained professionals to do this

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personally to do this for ourselves.

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So please don't please don't claim to be something that you're not especially

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when it comes to mental health, it is already, it is already enough of a

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quagmire w even when you have somebody who knows what they're doing and.

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Is suited for walking you through it.

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So, yeah.

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Good game.

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Good game.

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But like I said, I feel you have to be in a good Headspace for it, which

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almost makes it hard to recommend, but at the very least head to their

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itch dot IO page check out the game.

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See if it's something that you'd be into it is a, it is 4 99 on

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itch and you can find it at Draco.

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Nick, that is D R a C O N I C k.itch.io/closet monsters.

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So.

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Go give it a look.

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See, go give it a, check-out see if it's a see if it's something

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that would be of benefit to you.

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Again, great for character creation, I think.

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And if nothing else, like I love, I love these drawings.

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I love these little drawings they have in the book.

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Those drawings are great.

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But yeah, go check it out.

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If you do get it, let them know that SteelStash sent you.

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And help spread that word.

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Please tell your friends about this pod so that we can continue sharing

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the joy of solo games with others.

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I've been steel stash and thank you for stopping by lonely TT RPG.

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About the Podcast

Lonely TTRPG
A Solo Play Podcast
Lonely TTRPG is a show where I play and review solo TTRPGs.

Every other week, we play another solo TTRPG from across the indie community.

So join us as we roll, draw, and journal our way through some fantastic games.

About your host

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John Stum

Black Dragon Dungeon Company is a TTRPG podcast. We do weekly actual play podcasts and bi-weekly discussion podcasts where we talk about certain things about the TTRPG world.

You can reach us at blackdragondungeoncompany@gmail.com or on Twitter at www.twitter.com/bddc_pod